The Centennial...Or Something

Today is a day that shall go down in blog history (mine, anyway). Today is a day of excitement and grandeur to be matched by no other (at least for now). Why, you ask? Because today marks my 100th consecutive day blogging! (Side Note: the above picture is of me in my wig during the show, wielding the sword of doom, getting ready to lay the smackdown on whoever incurs my wrath.)

So, in honor of this momentous occasion, I have decide to put together a very special top ten for today! (Side note: I did want to write a top one hundred, but unfortunately that would have just been too insanely long, and by the time I finished it I’d never want to blog again.) So, on to the post: Top Ten Things to Do to Celebrate the 100th Post!

10.) Go give your own monkey a good kick in the pants. Heaven knows I’ve been beating mine to a pulp all day. Nothing says, “congratulations” like a monkey with a black eye.
9.) Go outside and greet your mailman with a basket of assorted muffins. Make sure not to tell him that the secret ingredients in the muffins are dish detergent and laxatives.
8.) Hug a llama. Don’t have a llama handy? Well, that’s a shame. Go buy a llama. Then spend your afternoon trying to teach the llama to talk. It will frustrating and futile, but that’s what you get for not having a llama around to hug.
7.) Prank call the Miley Cyrus fan club. Tell them that you just found out that you are dying of a mysterious, rare disease contracted from promiscuous mountain goats, and that it is your last wish to go to a Miley concert. Then guess what happens? You don’t show up. Ha! Take that, Miley! TAKE THAT!
6.) Eat some spaghetti, then when you’re finished, throw the leftovers into the bathtub. Frolic in them. True, this really serves no purpose, but it sounds like fun!
5.) Whoop that monkey’s ass again, just for good measure.
4.) Try to scare at least one small child today, and when you’re finished, know that you did it for their own good. And for the betterment of humanity. And because you’re tired of them reading your mind.
3.) Do a jive…with the monkey. He might resist, but if you’ve beaten him hard enough, he won’t have enough left in him to fight back.
2.) F*** Matt Damon.

And the number one thing to do to celebrate the 100th post:
Call all area plastic surgeons to inquire about tail installation. I realize that no surgeon will probably give you any kind of real answer, but a.) you’ll get some great reactions and b.) if they do, heck yeah!

Thanks for hanging in there with me for 100 posts...stay tuned for hundreds more...I hope!