These pants come with a screen-printed "True Love Waits" slogan across the hip bone (Side note: connected to the thigh bone), some styles even bearing a rainbow and heart for emphasis. (Side note: why there's no unicorn, I'll never understand.) Also, the pants have the "True Love Waits" mantra plastered across the buttocks, just so that people coming and going will know that you aren't putting out ("That goes for you, too, shady old man reading the words on my butt!"). After all, nothing says virtue like giant bubble letters spanning across your rear end. Nothing.
Extra special is the fact that these chastity pants (because chastity belts are not only so last season, but they posed serious problems in fitting rooms, not to mention the rust) are only being sold for girls. However, Kmart has (not) recently announced plans to produce a boy's pant that reads, "Get You Some!" across the ass in glitter, complete with an easy-access Velcro fly.
These pants have been so (un)successful that other chains across the country are announcing similar styles to be introduced in their stores, such as Walmart's new bathing suit printed with the word "purity," two letters on each bra cup, two letters you-know-where. Oh, wait, that's right; Walmart isn't going to make those bathing suits, because as much as I never thought I'd say this, they have some taste.
As for the K-mart chain, I'm sorry to say that I don't think your pants are going to spark a revolution of teenage abstinence. Whether you think teen sex is right, wrong, preventable, or not, I think we can all agree that text across the boo-tay is just laughable. After all, true love waits...at least until she can get those darn pants off, anyway!
And speaking of chains, go check out the other participants in this whimsical whirlwind that is the June AW blog chain:
Spittin' (out words) Like a Llama
If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.
33 comments:
Didn't a recent study show that abstinence programs don't work. Instead of participating in vaginal sex, teens are increasingly having oral sex (translation: the girl blows the guy and the girl gets nada) and anal sex.
Though teenagers should wait until out of HS to have sex, I believe it's important for everyone to experience sex outside of marriage. But ya know...I'm slutty like that.
auria- yep, and if there's one thing I have to say about the new trend in teenage sex (ie, the "altrernate" varieties), it's would be, "Um, so all our abstinence programs are teaching are ways to not get pregnant? That's not abstinence, exactly..."
This is the best post ever, but it got lost in the interweb. This is the default f-ed up post response.
In short - abstinence scrolled across... where? = AA meeting in bar.
Bastard interweb.
This was made funnier by British/American language differences. Firstly, I couldn't see why anyone would be seeing the 'no sex' underwear. Unless they were about to have sex. And secondly, those are some frumpy looking underpants for girls (I'd thought they were guy's boxers at first).
Then I realised, "Oh, trousers". Which still makes it funny, because do girls want to wear something that looks like a set of guy's boxers?
Well, I think I'm going to go right out and buy a pair of abstinence pants!
Or not.
Really, though... the goal of these pants seems to be to get people to stare a someone's butt. Weird way to promote abstinence....
Polenth, I know what you mean. I was wondering as well who'd walk around in their underwear proclaiming they wouldn't have sex. *boggles*
If you don't want to have sex outside of marriage, then knock yourself out. I don't see the point of these trousers, though.
I don't know what is worse: these pants or the fact that they'll be made by slave labor in china where population control is an issue.
I actually thought this was a Wal-Mart product the entire time. I'd expect this from an evil company like them. Kmart surprises me though.
Quite odd... so what's next, the opposite? Maybe print that says "Open for Business" or possibly "Say Hi to Me, I'm a Slut"?
Sheesh... I mean, I'm the preacher and I don't see these as a good idea.
Can we outlaw words printed across the buttocks, please?
I am neutral on the nocturnal activities of teens.
But I am FIERCELY against lettering on the rump.
Make it stop. Now. Thank you.
Melody Platz
Melody's Silly Humor
Livin- hate it when that happens.
polenth- haha! Yes, they are actually kind of longer, like the kind you'd wear to the gym. The picture just doesn't show it that way.
aes- yes, it is quite strange
bookdragon- yeah, I'm sorry for the mixup, ha!
aaron- maybe China is where the real market is for these pants. Or not.
street- there is an episode of family guy where they sell tshirts in a store that say "Sperm dumpster" in glitter...your comment reminded me of that! Haha!
Melody- I agree, lettering the rump should be made a crime.
So, what you're saying is that I SHOULDN'T wear them around town? Cause I already bought a pair in each color. Damn! I never know what's in and what's out!!
Freshhell- I TOLD you to stop buying this stuff before you consulted me first! I TOLD YOU!
You're right! Maybe you can be my personal clothing consultant. I think I also have WAY too many Jesus t-shirts (half of which are tie-dyed) in my drawers, too. Hate when that happens.
Auria, I am totally with you. Oh, and... how does one FOLLOW such a blog?
WOW! These will go great with my "Don't kiss me - I'm a prude!" t-shirt and my "Drugs not Hugs" cap!
But seriously... I'm tired of seeing things written on girls butts. Especially when a word like "cute" or "sexy" is stretched so tight and wide that, no, it is neither cute nor sexy.
I think that it is just a way of catching attention for the pants rather than abstinence. Many people will surely buy the pants no matter what they do.
"Get You Some" across the ass in glitter"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OMGosh--I have tears in my eyes!
So... have you seen the movie, "Teeth?"
Check it out. :)
poly-- heehee, sorry about that!
MJ- yes, and we do seem to see a lot of that around here. Is that an everywhere thing or do we just live near a lot of trashiness?
razib- indeed
k trainor- I'm thinking of getting a pair of these for my ballroom partner. I think they'd look great on him.
teri- nope, I'll have to check it out!
Can't we just go back to the days of the week undies, like we used to have way back in the day?
Oh what about http: underwear It has codes for forbidden, okay, item too small, item to large, and the code number they are cute. And geeky
Auria: Actually, the recent study that I read concludd that the idea of teens having more oral sex as a response to abstinence programs is an urban legend.
The real problem with abstinence programs is far more dire. Because teaching abstinence only means excluding education about birth control, it leaves young people high and dry when they choose to have sex, as some inevitably will. There's no way to impede pregnancy, and when it happens there are no options other than to carry the baby to term. It's a misogynist teaching because all the consequences are on girls who are left barefoot and pregnant when things inevitably go awry (cf. teenage girls can still be kicked out of the National Honor Society for the "crime" of getting pregnant, while there are no consequences for boys who are sexually active on any level).
That's probably why the product line only targets girls.
I doubt these clothes will trigger any kind of cultural shift whatsoever, but god damn... it's just one more insult to gender equality.
Did you just kick off this chain with blogging about pants???
Pants???
Chastity pants???
I'm disturbed.
And I must warn my relatives to never offer me such a thing as a gift!
Samuel,
Somebody better let the researchers at Yale and Columbia know that their 12,000 person research study is a legend.
plaid- yes, but we have to mix up the days we where them so they aren't worn on the correct day. I hate that...seems to organized.
rosemerry- I am surprised we haven't seen any "LOL" panties. Or boxers! Now THAT would be funny!
samuel- I think this may very well be the most serious discussion ever on my blog. Good for you making me look like I'm trying to start an intelligent banter! :-)
snowflake- Yep, I did it. You can thank me later :-)
auria- Uh-oh, throwin' it down...
snowflake- I had to reply again just because I thought of a bad pun I HAD to use...at least I started off the chain with a bang. MUAHAHAHA!
Wow, I'm just -- wow. I'm -- wow.
Yeah, that.
I am 100% behind (no pun intended) banning writing on bums, incidentally.
elrena- glad you've jumped on the bandwagon!
I have a huge issue with pants that say anything on them, no matter what the message is. If you have a cute backside, people are going to look at it without you calling attention to it. If you have a big butt that you don't like, would you want to draw eyes to it????
It makes me cringe when I see teens and pre-teens wearing things like this.
heatheranne- amen, sistah!
"(Side note: why there's no unicorn, I'll never understand.)"
Unicorns are far two phallic to use on chastity pants.
I believe you are underestimating the chastity pants marketing scheme. These pants could be rather successful because of a loop hole that makes it possible for nearly everyone to wear these pants. The pants speak the truth...true love waits (but thank God booty-calls are just a text-message away).
Zach- You're right, maybe a unicorn would be too much. Glitter, on the other hand...
The best lesson for abstinence my daughter ever had was her youngest brother. She was 12 when he was born and she experienced firsthand how much work a baby really is. She says NO SEX until she is ready to raise a baby, because the only 100 percent sure way to not get pregnant is to not have sex.
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