Anything but Work

First thing's first: I have a small announcement to make. After years of cutting up on this blog as a less serious outlet for writing, I've finally been talked into starting a writing blog. If you're interested in my writing process, thrillers, women's fiction, etc., come on over and join me at Sugar and Spice and Bodies on Ice. I will, however, still be around here to laugh with you guys on the regular! Now, on to the post!

Imagine, if you will, you've just run into an acquaintance at the grocery store or movie theatre. You stand there awkwardly after saying hello. Because this person apparently doesn't have any more of a clue what to say to you than you do to them, you attempt to avoid the awful,uncomfortable moment by inserting the obligatory, "So, what have you been up to lately?"

And Blog Club, how many times do you get this answer: "Oh, just workin'."

Suddenly, the conversation is not only awkward, but your valiant attempt to keep things flowing has been brought to a screeching halt by the horrible "same ole, same ole" curve ball. Don't these people know they need to give an answer that will allow the hot potato of conversation to flit back and forth between you? A little give and take? Apparently not.

That is why I am pleased to present to you the Top Ten Conversation Starters to Replace "What have you been up to lately?"

10.) So, what do you think of Abraham Lincoln?

9.) When you go to the bathroom, where do you look...the wall or the floor?

8.) How many times do you say the word “that” on a given day?

7.) If you had to be any of the cohosts on The View, who would you be and why?

6.) Can I have your socks?

5.) Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

4.) If you had to guess, how many gallons of ketchup would you think you will consume, total, before you die?

3.) Do you have any grey poupan?

2.) Hablo Ingles?

And the Number one conversation starter to replace, "So, what've you been up to lately?":

So, what would you be up to these days if you weren't always working?

Did I miss any good ones?