Blog Club, I know you know I hate dentists. I have made this fact abundantly clear. However, this past Monday--Halloween--I saw something that confirmed what I already suspected. No matter what they'd like you to think, dentists are not our friends. I offer to you exhibit A- a sign posted by a local dentist's office (Side note: the name has been blacked out to protect the innocent/to protect me from evil, bloodthirsty dentists):
Candy buy back? What. The. Heck.
Okay, let me back up here. Candy buy back? You're kidding me, right? "Hey, kids! You know what would be fun? Taking BACK your candy! And we'll give you a WHOLE dollar...per pound." Um, I don't know about you guys, but that seems like a rip off to me. I'm not sure how much candy kids are clearing during trick-or-treat these days, but I doubt it's a lot more than one pound. So, at best, they're selling back their candy (and their souls) for a measly buck and some change. And for what? Half of those kids trick-or-treating still have their baby teeth, anyway. What good are they if you can't rot them just a little bit? And the ones who have "big teeth," well, if one night of candy is going to ruin them, they probably weren't in great shape in the first place.
So, dentists, in conclusion (and in case you haven't caught the drift here), this sign does one thing for you: it teaches kids that you are lame. (Side note: Not to mention the fact that I haven't even touched on the whole business sense aspect of your sign. Don't you make money off of filling cavities those sugar-filled Halloween snacks cause? So you're lame and not so smart, but I digress...)
Did you dress up for Halloween? Did you keep your candy or sell it back?
4 comments:
I totally agree. Especially with the business sense aspect. Dear God, I mean, baby teeth are their bread and butter. Completely guilt free dental work, and there they shelling out dollars to shoot themselves in the foot. Morons.
Also worth noting: What the hell are they doing with the bought back candy? I see three possibilities.
1. They eat the candy themselves. THOSE FIENDS! Just because they get free dental care\earn enough for health insurance to cover diabetes treatment, it doesn't mean they have the right to steal their fix from society's children!
2. They sell the candy on ebay. I really think this is mostly like. At $1 per pound, I bet they make a killer profit. They just better hope no one gets wind of their sordid game.
3. They destroy it with a flamethrower. WASTEFUL! But I would sell them my candy if they'd let me watch. I'd even give them their dollar back if they let me do it. Hehehe.
I think it's number one. The evil lords eat the candy themselves.
Don't they know if their ploy worked, they'd be out of business? That might just prove your point about dentist lameness.
Lawdy Be~! You make me laugh, you!
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