Actual quote I saw somewhere today in the "opinions" type section of a newspaper: "If you are are handicapped enough to be able to use the handicapped parking space, it should be able to be seen when you get out of the car."
Oh, boy. I started laughing out loud (literally) all over again as I typed it. I can't even begin to write about all the things wrong with that statement, so instead, in cases of cardiovascular disorders or chemotherapy, etc. that might make a person need a handicap permit when not visible, I offer some "ideas":
My first thought would be that we could brand anyone with said need like cattle, but then again, that wouldn't solve the "visibility problem" unless we didn't allow them to wear pants. This would, however, create an entirely new visibility problem. The answer might be uniforms, but we would, of course, not want to hinder anyone's freedom of expression here. Just because we need proof of someone's medical history doesn't mean we should take away their right to show off their personality with a pair of snazzy sneakers or those nice velour pants with the word "juicy" screen-printed across the rear end.
No, I think the answer lies in tags. We can call them "Passes." And when I say tags, I mean something like this:
Now, now. I know what you must be thinking. "Colby, that's a bird tag!" Pass. Bird tag. Pah-tay-toe, poh-tah-toe. Point is, we'd no longer have to be concerned about those sneaky cancer patients hiding their cancer, or those crafty cardiac sufferers keeping their pacemakers all secret inside their bodies or not wearing sandwich boards to describe their list of medications. We will smoke them out, and we will prevail. And why? Because walking past that extra, empty handicapped parking spot makes us angry, and anger causes high blood pressure, which we already have enough of. We found out after our elevator ride up to the doctor's office right after that guy at KFC gave us a 10 piece instead of a 12.
So, if you could reply to that particular post, what would you say?
2 comments:
Unfortunately, too many folks don't realize how many pains and other physical problems/sickness can not be seen with the naked eye.
On that poster's defense, however- they may have just gotten fed up with the people who openly use the handicapped spaces when they don't have to. I know when I lived back in the States, I'd overhear people even joking and bragging that they had fake cards allowing them to park there. Blech!
But as I noted above- you can't tell what pains or medical conditions one has. Just because one can walk, does not mean they aren't in great pain otherwise.
Nothing I could say would even come close to hitting the nail quite the way you did. Great writing, as usual. I'll be laughing about this one for a while.
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